[from this]
Bahahahahaa, oh sweet Elena I can assure you human nature holds AAALLL the secrets, endless fields of them, and I have like, a handful pebbles. I think I just got lucky that I share a few pebbles with Bryan Fuller, so that when it comes to the fictional people in his stories, I do pretty ok sometimes? This probably has more to do with Me & B Fulls (a coupla weirds) than ~human nature~ though :p
And speaking of shit Fuller does to his characters, ooo boy I am very interested in Hannibal’s attention on Will too! Let me tell ya this has been WRINGING MY HEART OUT AS OF LATE. I know we joke about how Will can do very little to drive Hannibal away, I for one have certainly joked about that, but that unconditional Hanners love is RARE for Will, and I don’t think he knows how to manage it. People always tend to leave him, yknow? He’s difficult, and he knows this, and being alone is safe and safe is good, but it means he’s grown into a person who doesn’t *have* anyone. (There’s the angle that Will is difficult half on-purpose, but as that’s probably partly because he doesn’t want to drag people into his world, etc, it’s still really dang miserable.)
By the time Will meets Hannibal, he’s pretty fatalistic about it (#always), and just believes himself to be someone who doesn’t get/deserve support. Cue 1x05:
Hannibal: “You ever feel abandoned, Will?”
Will: [wry chuckling] “Abandonment requires expectation.”
And Hannibal, oh at this Hannibal’s internal soundtrack switches over from “Fascinating New Thing” to “Lover.” Will is lovely and he’s perfect and Hannibal cannot believe no one else sees this, but THEIR LOSS because by god Hannibal wants to be his EVERYTHING, everything Will doesn’t have, and then invent new things and be those for him too. And it’s that isolating, you-only-need-me move again, but it’s kinda hard for Will to see that sometimes when Hannibal’s faithfulness is such a new and nice feeling. Even when Will shares the parts of himself that would send anyone else in his life fleeing, still Hannibal stays. Over S1, Hannibal teaches Will that he can rely on him — for once, Will can expect not to be abandoned. Imagine how much that must have hurt when the floor drops out beneath him in 1x13. This is what Will Graham gets for foolishly thinking he could ever have someone.
But then imagine how strange, how impossible, when Will begins to learn in S2 that he still does have Hannibal. Hannibal’s attention is not the Good he’d thought it was, it’s corrupting and it’s dark and it will pull him down but it’s still there. And in the cold of the cell where he has been cast off by everyone else in his life, Hannibal’s regard feels like warmth. A dangerous warmth, but he bends helplessly toward it anyway — and hopes he can use it, without losing himself to it. Oh no, honey.
In 3x10, Truthbomb du Maurier (bless her), lays it out for Will very clearly, as is her habit: “Your experience of Hannibal’s attention is so profoundly harmful, yet so irresistible. It undermines your ability to think rationally.” This observation fucked me up so much that when I reread what I’d written about it I fucked myself up anew, thanks SELF.
“wooowww the idea that Will is drawn in by Hannibal’s attention, even though it’s that which poisons him. And it’s a privileged attention, too, because Hannibal doesn’t care about most people. He cares about you, Will. Aren’t you lucky. Aren’t you doomed. Hannibal’s attention like a too thick blanket, heavy on your shoulders, holding you secure, holding you down.”
for fucks sake
I’ve got a new simile for ya too: Hannibal’s attention like an undertow, forever tugging Will’s feet out from under him and pulling him deeper & deeper. So adrift after Hannibal tosses him from him in 2x13, and even after he finally staggers ashore in 3x07 and tries to live on land for a spell, he gets swept right back up again in the current of Hannibal’s steadfast passion, boding and brimming in Hannibal’s eyes.
****
a couple asides
- Hannibal’s relationship to attention is different than Will’s, in that general attention makes Will “oh god they’re applauding” Graham uncomfortable, whereas Hannibal feeds off it. Hannibal loves to read about himself, after all. He loves to set the glitterati raving over his dinner parties. He loves to obsess the best minds of the F.B.I. But as Will is more special and wonderful to him than anything else, Will’s attention is the most precious of the attention he craves, and he hungers after it something fierce.
- In the show, Will’s wide-eyed weakness for Hannibal’s focus on him gets pretty thoroughly wound into Will’s weakness for Hannibal’s touch, which of course would make sense as touch is gonna be like a physical manifestation of attention. His reaction to it all is mostly the same, that thing where he goes so still and wondering and like, ~glimmers~
