Yes these are the kinds of tasty allusions you could be getting in my ASOUE notes! And totes will I elaborate, this is only one of my most favorite & frequent topics. Most recently it came up over dinner with a friend, friend’s mom, and new friend, when we were obviously on the subject of Who Is Your Favorite Folk Hero, and I was like Mysterious Plan Hijacker D.B. Cooper and they were like, pardon?
So what you need to know up tops, as I explained to the table, is that Pacific Northwest folk heroes are so fucking weird and incredible. The northwest is a famously morbid off-kilter place that for the last century has been producing morbid off-kilter types after its own image. Think Bryan Fuller, or David Lynch, who is from western Montana, pretty borderline, but fully earned his belonging after proving in Twin Peaks how much he Gets It, in myriad ways but maybe most telling: in naming his characters after local Washington state legends. Harry Truman was not just the name of a U.S. President, but also the name of a man who with glorious and idiotic hubris unseen since Ancient Greece refused to leave his cabin on Mount St. Helens when it was going to erupt, and was summarily added to said mountain. And Dale Bartholomew Cooper, played by pure Washington son Kyle MacLachlan, was named for the neat, polite man in a black suit who hijacked a plane and leaped out into a rainstorm over a forest with a bag full of cash, never to be seen again.
So you probably know about D.B. Cooper, a story so perfect that just a couple years ago the F.B.I. finally called it quits because the mystery is just too good. But just in case: Back in the 1970s, the day before Thanksgiving, a man no one knows got on a plane in Portland, Oregon, ordered a bourbon & soda from one of the flight attendants, and calmly informed her that also he had a bomb in his attaché case and could she please alert the captain they were being ransomed? He paid in full for his drink, plus tip, and waited to land in Seattle to let off the passengers and bring on $200K and several parachutes. The plane took off again from Seattle, into a dark and rainy night. And when they cleared the clouds, the money, one parachute, and D.B. Cooper were gone.
Friend at dinner: “So, he died right?”
Me: “Oh definitely, he definitely died.”
But LEGENDS never die (folk hero!), so basically everyone in the PNW has a D.B. Cooper story. And in my humble opinion the best of them is the one my friend Lydia told me when we were working at the coffee shop one afternoon. Her uncle swears that he picked up a hitchhiker on his way to Thanksgiving dinner, the day after Cooper disappeared. He was driving down a road through the woods (so, any road in Washington state), and saw a man dressed in a rumpled black suit “holding a weird backpack” on the side of the road. The uncle picked him up, and then dropped him off again when he requested: at another nondescript patch of wooded road. He walked off into the trees.
But my favorite detail, my favorite favorite detail, is how her uncle described him there along the side of the road: “He was standing at an angle leaning into the wind,” he says— “But there was no wind.”
Me, one cocktail deep, gesturing intently at the table: “A ghooost!”