Testaments to the Boom Times to Come

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E13

Previously on Hannibal: THREE YEARS OF AGONY

This time on Hannibal: BEAUTIFUL FUCKING AGONY

Season 3, Episode 13: “The Wrath of the Lamb”

I can’t. I can’t edit I can’t restrict, everything is just bleeding out ahahHH. I’m just going to wring my heart into this TextEdit doc and we will see what, y’know, COMES FROM THAT. I mean it’s Hannibal, my dear ridiculous gorgeous Hannibal, and god we did not just watch a probable series finale — we witnessed something. We have, all of us, born witness to the experiment that was Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal, on NBC. And fuck, did it go out with as much daring as it has ever had in its whole damn daring run.

Can you even BELIEVE. Our radically sensitive cannibalism show, with its dark weird heart beating love, love, love, until the very last.

But first —

Dolarhyde’s House of Horrors. He has Reba, the Princess kidnapped by the Dragon. He bids her put her hands around his throat, while he does the same to her. He has a key hanging on a string over his heart. She has a key within her heart, but she doesn’t know that yet.

He asks her to go lock the front door, to see if he can trust her. “Don’t try to run,” Dolarhyde warns. “I can catch you.” HOLY SHIT, Armitage. Fantastically scary delivery of that. Reba carefully makes her way to the front door, and naturally she’s like “aagh I’m going for it.” God who wouldn’t. I would, I totally would. But Dolarhyde is waiting right outside.

Did you FLY DOWN or what, you ass-bat.

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E11

Previously on Hannibal: I have recently learned a medieval bestiary fact about panthers, and if anyone is going to be interested in this, it’s you all. SO. Back in the day, dumbass Europeans thought that panthers exhaled a sweet breath that lured their prey to them, and then once they were in range of their teeth, they ate them. Eh? Eehh? A good fact, right. Anyway that’s something I thought about a lot during “…And the Woman Clothed In Sun.”

This time on Hannibal: I have recently learned, despite ostensibly paying attention this whole time, that Hannibal ruins everything.

Season 3, Episode 11: “…And the Beast from the Sea”

Hey remember when Dolarhyde ate a William Blake painting?

“He ate it?”

“He ate it up.”

lol. LOL. Have I mentioned lately how much I love punchy Will Graham? I’ll do so here: I love punchy Will Graham.

Jack is confused. Not so much about the art nomming, he seems to have moved past that, but by the rest of Dolarhyde’s actions. Jack points out that he would have been better off killing the docent, and Will too, frankly. Will’s like “….thanks Jack, as always.”

Alana suggests that maybe Dolarhyde is trying to stop, and Will physically perks up. NO HONEY. Remember what Bedelia said? Don’t think you can save this one like you couldn’t save Hannibal, birds, wounded, don’t sacrifice yourself, etc. Crushing can take several forms and maybe one is just jail, so: crush that bird, love.

Of course, there is a “too far” in this situation, and Jack lands with both feet squarely on it when he suggests that maybe they can drive Dolarhyde to kill himself for them. “Suicide suits me just fine,” he literally says.

I feel you, Alana

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E10

Previously on Hannibal: Will’s face symbolically shattered approx. 2 dozen times, Hannibal’s heart just once, but intensely

This time on Hannibal: Bedelia assumes the mantle of Troll Captain of the Vanguard, Reba assumes the actual mantle of God lbr

Season 3, Episode 10: “…And the Woman Clothed In Sun”

Sure, yeah that counts as a different title than the last episode, totally.

Ok! Where are we? Still unclear, geographically, but wherever it is that Dolarhyde lives! He’s doing some vocal warmups and swapping out the license plate on his car — sounds like the makings of a good night out. He drives to: HANNIBAL’S PLACE, still empty after all these years. How no one has yet snatched this fully equipped Clue house off the market is beyond me.

Dolarhyde does something impressively technical at a panel box and turns on the phones & the wifi, which you can see is at full strength on his laptop screen — that is if you can get past his MOODY DESKTOP BACKGROUND.

I love this, you aesthetical dweeb

He rings up the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Well-Tailored, and declares himself to be Hannibal’s lawyer with a surprisingly decent fake voice. Then Hannibal’s like “Allo” and poor Francis literally gASPs and freezes in Full Fanboy apoplexy for about a year.

“omg I can’t even”

Hannibal somehow immediately twigs one of Dolarhyde’s key hangups, assuring him that his current physical form is a mere triviality, and Dolarhyde’s all, “omg you get me, I knew you’d understand, you are so cool.” You really are the Franklyn of murderers, aren’t you.

Dolarhyde: “The important thing is what I am becoming.”
Hannibal: “Tell me, what are you becoming?”
Dolarhyde: “The G R E A T  R E D  D R A G O N.”

Sounds to me like you’re becoming B A T M A N,  but ok.

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E9

Last time on Hannibal: “Wait, no I’m the fisherman — oh goddamnit,” Will said as he was reeled back in.

This time on Hannibal: “Murder Husbands: are they or aren’t they?” News at 11 with Freddie Lounds

Season 3, Episode 9: “…And the Woman Clothed With the Sun”

“That’s the same atrocious aftershave you wore in court.”
“Hello, Dr. Lecter.”
“Hello, Will.”

OH.
GOD.

They gaze at each other through the glass, Hannibal and Will and a ghostly reflection of Hannibal standing behind Will’s shoulder, as he once liked to do. Surrounding him. Hemming him in.

we’re like 20 seconds into this episode and I’m already done on a CINEMATOGRAPHICAL LEVEL

Hannibal asks if Will received his letter of warning, and he did, he read it. “And you came anyway,” Hannibal says, stepping closer to the glass, a helpless swallow moving Will’s throat, and yeah sure I’ll panic about that. He’s trying to keep his face steady, eyes on Hannibal’s, this painful twist where Will “I don’t like eye contact” Graham doesn’t dare to look away, like if he keeps looking, it proves he’s ok. And maybe it would, but he’s holding himself too still. It makes this break too visible.

Oh god, do you know what this reminds me of? When NightValeRadio used to tweet shit like this:

jfc

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E8

Previously on Hannibal: “fuck yeah / give it to me / this is heaven / what I truly / waa-ant,” and other alarming Lana Del Rey lyrics I whisper-sung at my computer screen

This time on Hannibal: you go forward only to go baaaaaack

Season 3, Episode 8: “The Great Red Dragon”

INCREDIBLY CLOSE-UP SHOT OF A HAND, YOU CAN SEE ALL THE TINY MOSAIC SKIN BITS & HAIRS & STUFF, just in case you were worried you put on the wrong show or something.

Who’s hand is this? It’s Richard Armitage’s hand, as Francis Dolarhyde, also known as The Tooth Fairy, ALSO known as The Great Red Dragon. A lot of names with this guy, a lot of SPOOKINESS also, as he immediately starts moving his fingers in a way that I struggle to believe a human can naturally do.

To introduce us to Dolarhyde (a name I think I have just now successfully learned how to spell, frightening dragon fingers crossed), they give us a 5 minute long wordless sequence of him….discovering himself? As an unhinged murder creature? Sure! It is transfixing.

It all starts with Dolarhyde having a ~moment~ with this William Blake TIME Magazine cover that a props artist is rightfully very proud of.

going straight into the portfolio

Other highlights include: so much unsettling muscle movement holy wow, close-up tattooing, teeth mold purchasing, this fab robe

fab

and ok yes the giant full-back Red Dragon tattoo, which is a thing to behold

behold it

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E7

Previously on Hannibal: #hot darkness, localized as well as general absurdity, Gillian Anderson

This week on Hannibal: I don’t want to go overboard, but, THE SORT OF INDULGENT ID-RIDDLED GIFT THAT I LIVE & BLEED FOR, you might say.

Season 3, Episode 7: “Digestivo”

We begin, with some hilariously trill-y organ music as the unscrupulous Italian detective arrives at Professor Sogliato’s building. He & his goons bust on in to the Horrible Scene We Will Henceforth Ignore, and quickly knock Hannibal out with a blow to the back of the head. Jack’s like, “thank u,” but then it’s revealed that Mason will pay double for both Hannibal AND Will. Oh come on. They pull a black bag over Will’s woozy bleeding head and promptly drag him off, because if Will Graham were to ever catch a damn break none of us would know what to do with ourselves, probably.

There’s no price on Signor Crawford’s head, so the unscrupulous detective leaves him to….have his unpriced head sawed open, as the last victim of IL MOSTRO, Dread Pirate Roberts of Florence. WOW THAT’S NOT COOL, BRO.

Luckily, Chiyoh straight-up SNIPES THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW, then comes over to say hi.

I love your shiny buttons. Also how you keep sniping people.

I laugh a lot watching Hannibal. It’s various sorts of laughter — WTF, ~Innuendos~, I Have No Other Recourse For My Emotions Right Now, etc. In this scene I started experiencing a particular fave: the Delighted Laugh.

“Did you do…this.” / “Of course.” - Delighted Laugh

“They are identically different, Hannibal and Will.” - Delighted Laugh

THIS WAS INDICATIVE OF THINGS TO COME.

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E6

So late, so sorry! If it helps this is like, the longest thing to ever be.

---

Previously on Hannibal: we just wanted Will & Hannibal to be together again

This time on Hannibal: I’m beginning to wonder if we don’t know what’s good for us

Season 3, Episode 6: “Dolce”

Hannibal walks through Florence in the early dawn, a bloody wreck. It looks good. The sequence is woven with him cleaning up at home in the Copper Tub of Delicate Situations, dreamy dissolves causing water to stream into alleyways and blood drops to blossom from his shadow, et cetera. It’s bellissimo.

Oh and naturally Hannibal has some sort of stigmata on his palm, because why not, at this point? Go for broke. This would make Bedelia Mary Magdelen while she artistically squeezes loofahs over his head, but then she starts stitching up his wounds and is definitely just Dana Scully again.

“shhh I’m a medical doctor.”

Outside the Palazzo, the authorities are packing what’s left of Pazzi away. “Jack,” Will calls, and hones into view. He’s cut up & bruised all to hell, but Jack just silently shakes his hand while making this face:

“well I see you’ve been having a pleasant time in Lithuania, you unbelievable trauma magnet”

Honestly, you could send Will off on a trip to the grocery store and he would come back with nothing but a limp and a haunted expression, muttering that he forgot dog food.

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E5

Previously on Hannibal: A lot of suits, mostly. The occasional sweater.

This week on Hannibal: More suits, accented by his own blood fuck yeah.

Season 3, Episode 5: “Contorno”

Our ongoing study of Will Graham Sitting Sadly in Various Means of Transportation continues from last episode’s sailboat to the train compartment he is currently in with Chiyoh, as some anonymous European countryside whisks gloomily by.

Strange Folks On a Train

Chiyoh is talking about growing up with young Hannibal. Apparently he used to burn random bark & things for her to learn to identify by scent alone — like a tiny Sherlock & Joan?? Imagine that version of events. I will.

Anyway, in real Hannibal-life Chiyoh is making some odd analogy about Hannibal as a charming cub who grew up to be just like the big cats. Ok. Will, ever eager to expand on people’s metaphors and take them in a yet weirder & more awkward direction, asks: “One you can’t play with later?” Will evidently just harbours dreams of Hannibal stalking a laser pointer around his office, aannd now I do too.

[Testaments to the Boom Times to Come]

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E4

Last time on Hannibal: It was like this European fairy tale in which Will & Hannibal were snails in love? That sounds about right.

This time on Hannibal: All your weirdo side-faves, weirdoing together again.

Ok my friends we are going to have to level about something right up front here, and it is: I FUCKING LOVE FREDERIC CHILTON. Yes, yes I know he’s terrible, he’s awful — he’s a raging narcissist & sleezy & manipulative and I adore him, because….he’s just so terrible at everything? He’s like this derpy inept wolf and everything he does is hilarious to me. And then you go and have him played by Raúl Esparza, who has his slightly Hannibal-askew comedy tone so on lock that he’s like a masterclass in camp villain acting, and I’m lost. I love Chilts. You just need to know this because, well…..

Season 3, Episode 4: Aperitivo

The episode begins and it’s bang-on CHILTON TIME, a return to my darling despicable Frederick getting shot in the face. What’s that look like in slow motion and micro-detail? It’s gross, don’t worry about it. Let’s skip ahead to when he’s still gross, but like in an interpersonal way, and also aalliiiiiive.

♪ beeeiiing AAALLLIIIIIIIIIIIVEE ♪♪

Ok ok I just had to get that joke out of my system, we’re good now.