Anonymous asked:
My anon pal, you are giving me a chance to talk a LOT more about Will Graham’s weirdbutt way of making decisions (“making decisions”) and I am going to take it.
Starting with who Will is contrasted against, let’s take a mo to talk about Bedelia du Maurier. Bedelia is a Planner, who is incredibly good at both thinking ahead and reacting smartly in the moment. This is not to say that she is without emotions — in fact, it’s due to her sensitivity combined with her intelligence that she has such a sophisticated understanding of both her own behavior, and the behavior of others. Bedelia gathers up all the evidence, comes to an intellectual awareness about it, and then that makes her feel a bunch of stuff. Her feelings are in service to her thoughts.
In a perfect inverse, Will Graham’s thoughts are in service to his feelings. Where Bedelia will be horrified by a realization, Will is horrified and then has a realization. I understand this… dismayingly well, as oh boy: it’s the saaaame way with me. Here’s a fun fact: I have no recollection of the moment when I made any of the large scale decisions in my life. Because yeah Bedelia, there wasn’t one. How it goes for me, and how I SUPER suspect it goes for Will too, is that basically I just operate in the world as a pure Feeling Being running on instinct & intuition (aka, moar feelingz), but for some reason I then rationalize all the shit I’ve done, as well as all the shit I’ve felt, as if it’s based in logic. As if it was supported by reasoned, decisioned thought, and not the other way around. Ha ha ha ha, oh what fuckery this is.
Will’s extra heightened version of this actually came up two times in my recap. Once, as you mentioned, was in this exchange:
Bedelia: “We assign a moment to a decision. What you propose is so thoughtless, I find it difficult to imagine that moment exists.”
Will: “Decisions are made of kneaded/needed feelings. They’re more often a lump, than a sum.”
And I was just like, oh very totes, i.e. “Will doesn’t so much make decisions as he does feel his way forward, to perhaps everyone’s detriment including his own.” lol #SAME, I didn’t add.
The other time was when Will was talking about his rejection of Hannibal:
“Like, did Will Graham honestly plan out that he could reject Hannibal in order to get him to turn himself in? Idk, like so many of the things he does, it only resembles calculation after the fact — which is actually PERFECT for him. As my therapist-in-training friend Jen put it, Will is so unmoored all the time that he could really go any which way at any given moment, but he’s really good at explaining what has happened afterward. That’s his gift. So I totally believe that Will looked back at when he broke up with Hannibal and realized what he had done, and it’s true that he did that, but in the moment, boy was just running on pure emotions.”
Combined, these two parts really get at what’s so dangerous about Will types, because it’s the explaining it afterward part that tricks everyone into thinking you’re making decisions, when really you’ve just been slipping along like an emotion leaf on the emotion wind this whole time. And the thing is, you also convince yourself of this. You provide often very good explanations of your behavior, but they are as many and as fluid as your feelings that inspired them. Hannibal may follow several trains of thought at once, but Will follows several trains of explanations at once.
And this is why, to finally get to your ORIGINAL QUESTION, wooww I do like “kneaded” better than “needed,” because it gets at the formation part of all this. To knead your lump of feelings together into an ad hoc “decision” — that’s the most Will Graham thing I think I’ve ever heard.
When there’s a seat left but someone you hate walks in
When there’s a seat left and bae walks in
When there’s seats left and the squad walks in
I wish more foods were named in the same vein as “I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter!”
You’ve Got To Be Pulling My Leg, THIS Is Ranch?!
Shut The Fuck Up, Are You Telling Me This Shit Is Ketchup??
I Firmly Believe This Is Not Mustard And I Am Horribly Wrong
I Refused To Believe That This Condiment Was Barbecue Sauce, And I Have Been Summarily Flayed For My Apostasy
I Assigned Negligible Probability To This Being Chili Sauce And Have Since Updated
In Which Your Humble Narrator Assumed That The Substance Within This Container Was Not Worchestershire Sauce Only To Be Rudely Awakened From This Delusion By Mysterious Circumstances
So I Figured This Was Jam But Boy Howdy Was I Jumping To Some Erroneous Goddamn Conclusions
Fuck Me, It’s Marmalade
